My room-mate and I were discussing friends--how friends come to be--how we become friends. She gathered her keys and purse for a trip to Target with her good friend and sighed, "Oh, what we do for our friends!"
"You know what? I never do anything for my friends."
"Oh, yes you do, Berty!"
"No, seriously, tell me specifically, what do I DO for my friends?"
When generous actions are the subject, I am primarily on the receiving end of my friendships. I do not have any regrets about that--I believe I am very lucky most days, for having such kind friends. But, it is not giving (or not-giving on my part) that makes up my friendships. Anyone can be kind. Not anyone can be my friend, nor I any one's. "We're not trading gifts here, Berty."
My room-mate told me, "Berty, you exist. That's all you are required to do!"
I could do nothing but laugh, unsure whether or not it was virtuous to believe her. Then I realized that all I require of my friends is that they "exist." I can't help but like them. The moment I expect something of my friend that he/she would not do according to the existence they lead--that is the moment we are farthest from friendship. God and my friends forgive me for those all too frequent moments.
The song that plays 'til I'm dead.
3 comments:
Well, we're all thankful you exist, of course. And thankful for sentences like the next to last one: "The moment I expect something of my friend that he/she would not do according to the existence they lead--that is the moment we are farthest from friendship."
There's stuff worth chewin' on in that one.
I've not decided whether it's chewable like carrots, or tobacco--whether it is chewed to be swallowed or spat out.
I had a whole long well thought out response to your post, beautifully written too.
And then the Internet closed on me.
I'm glad you exist, Berty.
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