Moving On and Not Being in Favor of Capital Punishment

So, my first living situation in the Tallahassee area is over and done with. Monday, I was going to live there through April. Tuesday something happened to change my mind. Wednesday I got half moved out. Thursday I got fully moved out and decided on and moved into the next place. Friday, I am recapping.

This is what happened. My previous landlady's partner/boyfriend, henceforth known as Lunytunes, is a pleasant enough and mechanically talented man from Georgia. However, he is also an alcoholic, and also has what my previous landlady (henceforth known as Artistlady) and I believe to be a borderline personality disorder. People with this disorder have a tough road to haul, that's for sure. Women who suffer from it usually internalize the experience and cut themselves (I knew a young lady in college who had difficulties with this), while men usually externalize and put their anger to action against others. So, Luneytunes is usually a pleasant man; addicted to alcohol, yes, and not yet admitting it and getting help, which is making his mental health worse and worse. So, he was triggered Tuesday evening when our neighbor Harold was pulled into the drive and chatting with me. He walked over to Harold's truck and angrily told him to get off the property, with threats. Harold civilly retreated, while telling me and Artistlady that if we needed help, to call or come over. Well, Luneytunes continued in his evil mood and got wasted Monday night with his buddies. The next day, he came to the property and literally abused Artistlady, stealing her truck, insisting she was keeping a check from him, holding her credit cards and passport hostage (she's Canadian), smashing up stuff in the house, grabbing and shoving her, and screaming and yelling profanities. Unfortunately, Artistlady thinks she's supposed to fight back by trying to get her keys and important paperwork, which is revealing her stupidity as well. Luneytunes was on the property several times Tuesday and Wednesday, still violent and angry. Then Thursday was reportedly calmed and apologizing.

Well, Tuesday afternoon I packed an overnight bag and essential things into my car, locked the rest of my possessions in my camper, let the cat out to brave the weather by instinct, and left. I ended up staying with my friends on the Miccosukee Land Co-op, with who I've been in discussions for my next rental already. When Artistlady refused to call for help Tuesday, I decided to break my lease and move. She neither filled me in on the situation before moving in, and has refused to take the necessary steps for protecting her property, self, and tenant. Considering these assumed and unspoken commitments when a property owner rents to a person, I see the contract as broken. Wednesday I moved things out and pondered my options of temporary or permanent living situations. Thursday I continued moving, and with welcome at the MLC, and feeling right about it in my gut, I committed to renting here for a year and accepted the generous help of a new friend to move my stuff to this side of the city.

I believe the world has much sickness in it. Nobody is immune to it. I, for instance, think I have bipolar tendencies and think it may be the result of emotional injuries from sexual molestation from my grandfather. This is a big claim. Luneytunes grew up around lots of physical and alcohol abuse from his father. I am thinking illness has so much to do with not letting go of anger. People who have overcome serious illness seem to recognize this . . . Elaine Silverman writes about forgiveness being a huge step in her recovery from M.S. (she really is my hero in recent months and I will be referring to her for a long time). My friend Sharon, breast cancer survivor, though she went the conventional chemo and surgery route to healing didn't bother being angry about it . . . she accepted that she was sick and actually found ways to be grateful in her illness. No bitterness. Adversely, I know one person who disagrees with me that people can be forgiven, and has been carrying around resentments and denial for years. Guess what, he has ended up very seriously sick himself. I believe that the attitude of forgiveness is a huge part of healing.

The Rwanda genocide of 1994 saw horrifying tragedy and crime. This is a good case to think about healing from illness on a national level. Over time, it seems that Rwanda realized that putting murderers to death wouldn't fix that problem and abolished capital punishment in 2003. The religious institutions of Rwanda (Catholic, Anglican, AIC, and Islam) and the government have been working together to run programs reuniting genocide criminals with their victims. Imagine that! Criminals with the children of the people they bashed to death with clubs and machetes in 1994. This is unthinkable! There are hundreds of stories of reconciliation in Rwanda that will make you a believer. It certainly makes me glad that all I have to be reconciled with is a man who is only sometimes insane and addicted to alcohol, and his girlfriend who is obviously a little off too.

So, in this whole business, Artistlady and Luneytunes have let me down. My trust has been shattered. I've probably lost $400 . . . I will ask, but aware I may not get it, Artistlady to return my housing deposit. At this point in my financial life, that's a big chunk of money to disappear. Whatever the case, Luneytunes is forgiven for calling me a "whore" and claiming that I am bringing men on the property to sleep with Artistlady (seriously, this is what he claims in his delusional anger). Artistlady is forgiven for jeopardizing my safety. However, being forgiving doesn't mean I stay. I do not trust Luneytunes and until he has recovered and approached me with apologies, he cannot count on me to be there for him in any capacity that would support his alcoholism and mental illness. I do not trust Artistlady to make wise decisions for me and my property. The grace is that you don't have to trust, or even like, somebody to love them. When life doesn't go your way, you accept the situation and people for exactly what they are, set the boundaries that need to be set, pick up your bags, and do what's right and loving to the best of your ability.